Thursday, 17 December 2009

Dreams or nightmare (yet again)

I still in last nights bullet point mood, plus its easier when you can't remember every single detail.

  • First being on some kind of school trip, which all seemed to fall apart, starting on the coach journey there, where som little girl was sick.
  • Then the trip at this museum/science centre/botany place started to go wrong, when the larger groups we were in seemed to split up and go their separate ways. As usual i seemed to end up on my own.
  • Somehow i then ended up in a residential/hospital unit, more like the NHS Adolescent unit i was on. When i seemed to end up emotionally drained and exhausted. It was a sunny evening so we were sitting outside and allowed to stay out, sitting in the evening warmth.
  • One of the nurses was going off shift (a lady i remember from that adolescent unit) and as she was leaving a woman went past outside riding a horse that she was about to lose control of, which started up a conversation between the nurse and i myself regarding her horses.
  • I ended up going with her to the yard and seeing how tidy she had kept her barn.

Perhaps i woke briefly because then the dream switched to the location of home, which is where the most upsetting part came.

  • There was a section of the front lawn that had sunk and flooded, so mum had called someone to come and check it out.
  • Next thing i know K had turned up, it seemed a side line job as well as a GP was her knowledge of drains.
  • She told mum that the lawn needed to be dug up.
  • I was standing near to her, and she put her arm around me and gave me a hug.
  • I burrowed my face into her, and felt so comforted by her and didn't want to let go. It was a situation i'm dreamed about for so long, and i almost couldn't believe it was happening.
  • She stood with her arm around me for a while, talking to mum about the flooded lawn/burst pipe. She then sighed "Oh Jenny......" - as it to say 'just something else to go wrong for you'
  • I turned to look at mum and realised it was just how things always used to be - me going to and getting hugs from everyone but her.
  • It was another reminder that i can't have those hugs from the people i want.

fortunately then i was woken up by mum coming into my room to tell me she was going to work.

and now i need to get my arse to the gym for my morning session!

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