Thursday, 5 September 2013

Nightmares of the future?

I had a nightmare last night that I was sectioned 6 days before I was due to start at university.  I was suicidal in  the dream and had been planning and thinking of every way to harm myself severely.  One of my gym instructors seemed to be in the role of my doctor and arranged for me to be sectioned because she knew what I was thinking and planning.  2 women came along with paperwork in their hands and even though I didn't put up a fight,  they restrained me. Pinning me to the floor apologising whilst I begged and said I'd go willingly.  Apparently it was for my own good.

Its been playing on my mind all day.  Is a week before when things are really going to fall apart?  Or does my brain just want the easy way out rather than having to deal with all this? Why does part of me still want that to happen?

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