Friday, 19 February 2010

"Have a break. Have a K!tk6t." (or just sleep)

Things may be a tad quiet around here for a bit. All energies (and artificial energies) are being focussed in one place right now. A place i feel safe (so of the time, depending who i'm with), a place i know i can't over eat, a place i know i'm doing good things and a place i can hit things! Only one thing i can't really do which tend to happen when i leave which is cry.

I think the crying is partly due to exhaustion but also due to keeping a straight face and "happy" face for at least 2 hours. There are certain people i trust enough to see the tears, but i know they are people who understand, people who have let me into their pasts slightly and let me know that they've been there in one way or another too. Plus T gives me hugs, which i woule never turn down.

People (& my body) are telling me that i should perhaps slow down a bit and take it easy. My body decided to show me this by sleeping for 90 minutes - thats an hour and a half! - yesterday afternoon for the afternoon 'nap'. I'm relying on pain killers and pain killing gels more and more. I keep telling myself it will be worth it in the end but after 2 months i'm seeing nothing - If anything i've grown even bigger.

Time to get ready for another morning of hard work.

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