Saturday, 9 January 2010

Breakdown imminent

I have been fighting the tears all morning, and eating & picking constantly to fuel the fight.

Salted cashews
mini chocolate bars (chomp & dairy milk)
fruit & fibre
Sharon fruit
(plus a bowl of fruit and fibre for breakfast)
Why can't i stop? why can't i fight the appetite instead of the emotions?
I want to through things, break things, smash things. I want to attack. I can't break plates or dishes........time for a walk on the ice? pray for a broken bone instead? choose the shoes with the least grip, choose the most perilous path.
Accidents are permitted, but all other emotions & anxiety must be hidden at weekends.
  • No crying, no screaming, no sobbing.
  • No running out of the house.
  • No self harm.

Weekends are the time to be on your best behaviour.

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