Tuesday, 17 November 2009

Let me go

I'm trapped. Trapped in a life i should be grateful for, but that feels like punishment.

I want to stop hurting you, mum. But i fear there's only one way i can do this.

I wish you'd give me permission and let me go.

2 people had something to say about this:

Seeker said...

I am writing this purely from a mum's point of view........

I worry so much about my daughter's problems. Indeed, she has caused me so much worry that you might say my life would be better off without her. However, I love my daughter so much. If she disappeared from my life, I would be inconsolable. But if she (God forbid) ever took her own life (and she does still quite often say she feels like giving up), I could never get over it. It would mean that my life was over too. And I would undoubtedly feel that I had failed, that it was somehow all my fault. That's the thing about us mums: even if the whole world tells us we are not responsible for what happens to our kids, we do blame ourselves. And if the unthinkable ever happened, I would never, ever get over it. No doubt at all about that.

So, don't ever think that your mum would be better off without you. It would probably mean the end of all happiness and peace and mind for her - for ever.

Of course, you are entitled to make any decision you want; it is your life. Just never for one moment think that your mum would be better off without you. She won't!

Susie said...

i know you're right seeker, but everytime i see the pain in her eyes, it just reminds me of how much i'm hurting her.

 
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