Friday, 20 March 2009

Rare Paternal Contact

And people wonder why i avoid seeing/talking to him...... Note my thoughts and what i wanted to say in italics.

Father says:
Hello. How are you this morning?
Susie says:
good morning. just trying to plan my day. deciding which Tesco’s to do the shopping in

Decisions, decisions.

well, yes, actually it is quite a difficult decision for me. Its a start that i'm leaving the house


thing is different stores stock different items

Daft. Mind you I haven't been into a Tesco in months. Always go to Waitrose now (or get it delivered by Ocado).

only thing i pick up in Waitrose are globe artichokes

How have you been?

not so great

Still fed up?


still fed up??!! still fed up??!! you really have no clue about anything do you?
its a bit more than fed up

Depression?


hmmm lets see? suicide attempts, self harm, anorexia, hospitalization - oh and severe depression. Its only been on going for the last 10 years though......
it always has been

And what are the medical profession doing to help?

You mean the shrinks and head doctors?
there's nothing else they can do really.

Nothing at all?

they don't have magic wands sadly

No, but they do have anti-depressants (I know there are side effects but surely something would help?).

I’m on medication already

Is it working?


{sarcasm} Yeh, its working fantastically - Thats when when you asked how i'd been i said 'not so great'!!
not yet

How long does it take to have an effect?

probably another couple of weeks if its going to
But don't get your hopes up


I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Then the conversation moved onto his [adopted] children. The boy has been diagnosed with an "attachment disorder" and is starting meds for ADHD this week. Yet they [father and his wife]seem to be getting more help from their local CAMHS than the poor lad. Yes, i understand the parents need to know how to manage and deal with the child, but despite his "low IQ" and the fact that "to all intense purposes he is autistic" - what about someone for him to talk to and help him deal with things? I think my comments there probably fell on deaf ears. I can't judge or critise though. I haven't seen them for a long time and i don't know the ins and outs of their home life.

The conversation then took a different route - the path of "i really didn't need to know that!"

i haven't seen you online for a while

I hadn't updated my browser properly and then it kept crashing with Flash so I couldn't get the chat to work properly (although I do use GoogleTalk most days to chat to my writing friend).

ah ok. its just last time we talked you hadn't been well

Was that before or after my operation?

i think after

Probably. I was a bit miffed that they didn't tell me how long it would really take to get better. But it's all good now. My 'bionic' bits work well.

Too much information - this IS your daughter you are talking to
is the problem likely to reoccur?

No. Although the implants will need replacing in around ten years. So I'll probably have to do it all again then. In the meantime I'm back on to six monthly check ups for the cancer (to make sure it isn't coming back) which are good at the moment.

Actually the last one was worse for a few days at least what with swelling and being shaved, I looked more like a porn star for a few days.
I couldn't do up my trousers when I left hospital so I had to have a long coat.

Far too much information!! I bet everyone thought you were some dodgy looking bloke. I can imagine it would take much to make people this that judgingby the way you looked when i saw you last.
i hope you didn't have far to walk to the car!

A few hundred yards (and further than I wanted because we got lost on the way out). Unfortunately I had to go to Leicester as they were the only hospital nearby which did that op. So we didn't know our way around.

A bit more polite conversation from me asking about his work, before.....

i should really get going

All right then. Take care. And let's chat again. Soon.
Love you.

Sorry but i can't say i love you too because quite frankly you are a stranger to me
bye for now

Bye.

It'll probably be a month or two before we speak again. When i told mum she was suprised he didn't offer his usual problem solving thing and invite me to their villa in spain with them for a week. Because thats going to so easy after not having seen him for a couple of years and the rest of the family for even longer!

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