Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Sleeping Beauty

I give up. Or rather i give in - give in to sleep. Today has been another sedated day in the world of Susie Belle. At least with the Lofepramine i had energy to do things in the morning, whereas now i just feel constantly fatigued.

I woke up at 7.30am, due to the smells of cooking wafting up the stairs and other such noises from mum & D getting ready for work. From then until about 10am i remained in one place on the sofa only moving twice. Once to get a bagel and a piece of fruit for breakfast and again to make a hot chocolate. It wouldn't suprise me if i dozed off during that time, i was fighting to keep my eyes open and goodness knows where the time went to. At 10am i decided that maybe a shower would freshen me and revive me slightly. But to no avail and i soon returned to my position on the sofa, however not for too long this time. At about quarter past eleven i decided to stop fighting and crawled up the stairs (literally, as i had so little energy) to bed, where i quickly fell asleep and remained so for the next 45 minutes. Even through the night, after turning my light off at 10.30pm, last night i only woke once when i heard Mum and D's alarms go off, and due to health reasons they were due to be up every 3 hours through the night last night. So its not even like i didn't sleep well.

Its now 3.30pm, i've just been for a walk around the block which took me 15 minutes rather than the normal 10. Now, yet again i'm contemplating another nap! Although i don't think it's totally necessary this time, its possibly wise as i have to collect D at 5pm, and i have driven yet today because i wasn't awake enoughIn fact this is worse than the previous meds and i'm supposed to be starting a course at 9am tomorrow! Eeeek! I've decided not to take the tablets tonight (i've been up at 3 tablets (75mg) for the last 2 nights) and pray that i'm bouncing with energy tomorrow. I cancelled the gym induction this morning because it really is pointless right now. Pointless but much needed as i'm just eating and sleeping right now, and so need to get off my backside and do some serious exercise.

I know not taking the meds isn't really the right thing to do but if i want to make it tomorrow i can't really see another option. It's made me see that i clearly to kind of want to do the course, its probably more to do with the fact that i don't want to let a multitude of people down but i'm not using this as an excuse to back out is what i'm trying to say. I know i should stick with it for a bit longer, afterall its only been 9 days, but i'm very tempted to get an appointment with K and tell her i've had enough.

And now my eyes are closing again. Time to play the role of Sleeping Beauty again....perhaps i'll be woken by a prince this time?

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