Sunday, 14 September 2008

"Take anything he says with a pinch of salt right now...."

That's easy for you to say, you're not the one he's making digs at! Yes, i know when he goes hypo he's gets ratty and stroppy and some of the time probably doesn't even remember what he's said. However that doesn't help the way i feel much, because the words still get to me.

You're talking to the person here, who you told earlier takes things the wrong way, or takes things to heart too much - oh, and also "hear's things" the way she "wants hear them". Can you not accept that maybe what you say comes across in the wrong way? and that different people interpret things differently. You say you're not giving me mixed messages but then why do i get so confused and angry?

"You need some thing to do during the day, you need to see more people and meet people" - So i went out got a part time job. I've only managed to do one day so far and last night you tell me i'm taking too much on, simply because i went into town after i stood picking off mouldy strawberries for 2 hours. So now i've got this job (all of 6 hours a week to start with!) am i not allowed to do anything else? Am i supposed to stay indoors, rest and do nothing?

You want to blame anything physically that goes wrong, like the nausea and previously the upset stomach, on me and the things i do. How can Friday's nausea be blamed on a stressful day? Thursday was the first day at the new job, so surely if i had felt that way on wednesday or thursday then maybe? But Friday? So i had to pop to the corner shop to pick a few things before i could whip up a couple of batches of muffins for David's work collegues. A few muffins for me are hardly difficult, it's not like its a complicated process, having baked plently on different things before. A couple of hours sorting cards into alphabetical order in a quiet office out of the way - again hardly stressful. And so what if i popped into Asda before i came home? It was en route, i found what i wanted and was in and out within 5 minutes!

Please explain to be why that morning should cause me so much stress that i should feel so nauseus that i completely lost my appetite and didn't get round to eating lunch until about 3pm! It's not like the afternoon ahead of me was going to be out of the ordinary and taxing, I mean i do the shopping at Tescos every Friday.

But of course "i wasn't blaming you" or saying "you bring it on yourself" - well please tell me what you call it because i'd love to know!

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