Friday, 4 October 2013

A different location

I didn't realise how much this was going to affect me.  Or rather it is affecting me in a way I didn't expect.

I feel like the clock has been turned back 10 years.  I'm back in a hospital room.  It's the weekend and lots of the students have gone home.  Just like the good old days I'm one of the ones still here not going on weekend leave.

I wish I could recognise the difference.  This time I am not being held here. If only it felt like that.  Really not sure how I'm going to manage for a year. 

At least I know that harming doesn't mean I am automatically out.  I am struggling not to right now and even more so since I learnt the latter.  I must try not to see that as permission to do it though.

I want to let go and fall apart so much right now.

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