Monday, 24 August 2009

Its just a scratch.....

I told M today about the self harm. I felt like it was a pointless exercise, telling her. Not quite as much as if i'd told K.

It just seems is it doesn't require stitches or doesn't threaten my life in any way, then its insignificant and doesn't matter. How far do i have to go now before people care about it? Its not like i'm doing it for attention or telling or showing anyone, but when i do admit to it, if its not severe then it may as well not have happened.

I went through a list of events today with M where my life should have come to an end. She herself said she didn't know how i was still here on this planet. The list soon rose into double figures.

Someone, somewhere doesn't want me to die.

2 people had something to say about this:

Anonymous said...

"Someone, somewhere doesn't want me to die."

It's me. But not just me Ms Belle. You are much loved, no matter what you feel sometimes, there are people out there who care for you for who you are. I know because I'm one of them.

Lola x

Susie said...

Thank you, Lola. I know there are people who care, but i also sometimes wonder (or should i say hope) if the person i'm named after (Susan) and her brother are looking down on me from above and keeping watch too.


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